Although I have great respect for what my teachers did teach me about acting, as an actor, I wasn’t able to find any real ways to work effectively in my beloved art form through my acting teachers or the many books I read on acting, There were no real insights into the way the human psyche works, and in those days, to mention therapy in the classroom or make any spiritual reference to the art form was truly forbidden! It was all technique. And rightly so. Teachers would get into deep trouble with their students otherwise because they weren’t trained in how to help an actor make a safe, healthy connection to their deepest emotions. And they might end up with an emotionally overwhelmed student. So, they stayed away and focused on what they had learned themselves: technique.
But I found myself in a deep struggle to make the technique work! Meisner or Method? Adler or Strasberg? None of the approaches could give me a healthy way to navigate the depths of my psyche and soul so that I could find my way to some truthful emotional connection to my characters. I could not create a focused, clear, and open channel for my characters without blocking in some way. Chekhov got closer, since it was a psycho-physical approach, and I learned much from him, but still it wasn’t enough. And even though teachers were giving me the facts of the characters’ inner life in the moment or telling me to focus on what my character is doing or listen more to my partner might help in the short run – and all of these things are useful – they were simply bandages. They didn’t last. And it was still not enough to satisfy my deep desire to actually “channel” my character from the depths of my soul, to become the character without question, to experience the character living the moment as myself, and to remain healthy while doing it.
It was not enough to navigate the acting blocks that came and went but remained persistent in the long run. You were either talented or not. It was all a mystery how the “greats” did it. As far as I could tell, the mystery lied in the fact that the teachers themselves had no understanding of their own psyches or who they were as human beings. Compassion wouldn’t last long when their frustrations with their students took over, and many actors were deeply wounded in the classroom.
And so, I embarked on therapy. I went deep inside and began to really face and feel my own deeply repressed emotions. I faced and confronted my shadow. I raged out from my pelvis, I wailed with grief from my heart, and I surrendered to the terror in my belly. I began to understand that the soul lives in the body. And we must reconnect with our bodies if we are to channel from soul.
I also began to understand how blocked we are from our bodies, how the mind interferes and how the actor would never be able to channel from the soul unless the mental and emotional blocks were addressed in their own life as human beings. I knew I had to help actors work through their blocks, rather than struggle with them. I had to teach them to drop into their bodies and reconnect with their wounded souls.
But how? My search led to in-depth training in bioenergetics, energy healing, internal family systems, voice dialogue, somatic experiencing, meditation and other embodied approaches. I was like a starved lioness, and I devoured every bit of what I was researching and took every opportunity to bring it into the classroom and integrate it into the actor’s work.
I trained for many years in a deeply experiential way. It was full embodiment work – deep regression, shadow work, Jungian archetype work, heliotropic breath work, energy work … the list goes on. I continue to be a student of life and acting. I keep a beginner’s “I don’t know” mind when I teach, and I learn from my students. They are my true teachers.
This is where the quote from Anton Chekhov comes into play – “If you want to work on your art, work on your life.” This became my teaching philosophy. For 25 years I have stayed true to it. I have seen transformation after transformation in my students’ abilities to embody their characters, connect truthfully, and actually channel their characters. And now I would like to share my life’s work with you.
I’m not saying this work is easy. It’s not. It’s not a quick fix. You have to be dedicated and open to change. You have to take risks in your life as well as your acting. You have to be willing to embrace a deep process-oriented journey towards self-knowledge and self-leadership and let go of what’s familiar and not working for you. You will need support along the way. You will need to do the in-depth exploration into your own body’s truth. If you do this and stick with it as long as you need, I can guarantee you will not only be able to create deep, compelling, emotionally connected characters and channel these characters from a deep soulful embodied place, but you will also positively transform your personal life and relationships.
Read here what my students say.